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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26809744">drops of water on my face (are they my tears or rain?)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermicnee/pseuds/hermicnee'>hermicnee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Percy Jackson and the Olympians &amp; Related Fandoms - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Character Study, Demigods, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Percy Jackson Needs a Hug, Percy Jackson-Centric, Sad Percy Jackson, Tags Are Hard, but the demigods always make me emo as shit, doing what i do best: rambling, i dont even remembering writing this, i guess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:48:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>752</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26809744</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermicnee/pseuds/hermicnee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Percy Jackson always knew he was going to die. All demigods know. They know it like you’d know the sky is blue and the grass is green and the gods are assholes and demigods die.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Camp Half-Blood Campers &amp; Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson &amp; The Olympians</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>drops of water on my face (are they my tears or rain?)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>so,,,i dont even remember writing this. but i came across it in my notes and thought “hey lemme post this” now im not even in the pjo fandom, because it was toxic where i was, and really i keep pjo stuff to myself and friends and this isnt even that good but heyyy whatever!</p>
<p>i have so many feelings on pjo, but especially demigods. because they really deserve better than being child soldiers who have tragic life (also ive realized that some of my favorite books or shows are about child soldiers,,,neat)</p>
<p>so have a very sucky and ramble-y fic/character study on one of my favorite characters ever, percy jackson, and demigods. </p>
<p>( also tbh i posted this for validation so pls comment- )</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Percy Jackson always knew he was going to die. All demigods know. They know it like you’d know the sky is blue and the grass is green and the gods are assholes and demigods die.</p>
<p>Some are hopeful, borderline naive, that they’ll survive- that maybe the gods do care enough to let their children survive. Over the years, they realize they were foolish, they realize that demigods dying are as fact as there are four seasons.</p>
<p>Percy knew it was stupid, the most stupid thing ever, but he held onto hope that some kids would survive. That they’ll become adults and fall in love and have kids, but he knows its stupid. If, somehow, you survive to adulthood it still won’t be over. You’ll be running from monsters, always knowing how to hold a sword and swipe a dagger, having to lie to your children and say everything is okay.</p>
<p>+</p>
<p>Sometimes, Percy thinks he’s normal. When he’s getting ice cream with his mom or worrying about the next test, he thinks he’s just another normal kids. But he won’t ever be normal. He holds a pen and imagines a sword, see’s shadows and thinks of monsters, burns his food before he eats.</p>
<p>Demigods are never going to be normal, as simple as the sun is a bright star.</p>
<p>+</p>
<p>Sometimes, Percy hates the gods. They’re big and bright and they turn their noses up when their children move the Earth for them. They give one simple word when you save the world and then pretend like you don’t exist.</p>
<p>In dark moments, in his anger, in his sadness (in a moment when he remembers Luke Castellan and <em>understands</em>), Percy hates his father. Her father gives him smiles and pats his back and is there every other week but sometimes Percy hates him. Hates him for having him, hates him for letting him be in two great prophecies and hates him for not letting him go.</p>
<p>He hates the gods. Sometimes he wishes Luke had ruined them.</p>
<p>He always washes those thoughts away.</p>
<p>+</p>
<p>Sometimes, when he’s helping little kids train and hanging out with older demigods that understand him, he wants to drown.</p>
<p>He knows since he’s a child of Poseidon he can’t drown but still he sits at the bottom of a body of water and his salty tears mix in with the water.</p>
<p>He looks at the little kids. He looks at the eight year old son of Hephaestus who grins and rather fiddle with things than learn to fight, “I don’t have to fight if I can outsmart them with traps,” he says with a cocky grin.</p>
<p>He looks at the twelve year old daughter of Aphrodite who makes flower crowns with the Demeter Cabin and puts it over his head before training, “A crown for a king,” she says with pride.</p>
<p>He looks at the ten year old child of Apollo who shines like the sun and says positive things like they’re normal, “Why need Ambrosia when happiness is right there,” they say with a giggle.</p>
<p>He looks at the seventeen year old daughter of Ares who stomps and glares but is soft with Aphrodite children and always helps the younger kids with training, “Gotta get to seventeen,” she says gruffly like she’s not lying to herself.</p>
<p>He looks at the seventeen and fifteen year old sons of Hermes who cackle and run and play with everyone and have pranks wars with other campers, “Rather prank wars than real ones,” they say in a moment of seriousness- before they run off again to prank the Athena cabin.</p>
<p>He looks at the sixteen year old daughter of Demeter, who rolls her eyes fondly and makes vines grow for the smaller kids to play on and grows plains of flowers to decorate with, “They deserve some beauty in their lives,” she mutters before she’s off again.</p>
<p>He looks at the sixteen year old daughter of Aphrodite, who uses harsh words and shoos her siblings away from the training grounds but trains herself in everything. “I’m scared I’ll lose someone else,” she whispers to the group in the dark night before she walks off and pretends it never happened.</p>
<p>He sits at the bottom of the sea or lake, and cries with the ripples.</p>
<p>+</p>
<p>Demigods die young, demigods aren’t normal. It’s as simple as the gods are immortal.</p>
<p>And one day, Percy Jackson will die. By old age or a monster, he’ll die one day, because demigods die.</p>
<p>That’s the way it goes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>and thats the end. can you tell these stupid demigods i love make me emo as SHIT</p>
<p>anyways let the demigods overthrow the gods and be happy 2020 god bles</p>
<p>pls give kudos and comment- or dont idk,,,but i want validation im a sad being 💔</p>
<p>( also can u tell whos who when hes talking abt specific demigods?? i think theyre obvious- tho like. two are random ppl )</p></blockquote></div></div>
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